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| 05:35pm 21/11/2009 |
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Winter is coming again. And I'm tired. As usual.
I can't believe college is almost over. My job for the past 13 years has been learn, learn, learn! And now, I don't know what to do with my life. Grad school? School? Move home for a year? I don't know!
And it's even worse because I don't want to think about it, but I know I have to! I hate it. |
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| 10:46am 26/10/2009 |
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Come on immune system!
You're really letting me down, here! |
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| Sorry. |
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| 04:09pm 25/02/2009 |
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I was really upset last night, hence the last post. Sorry!!! Don't freak peeps.
Also, I found this awesome new website/blog thing that I love. You should check it out if you're interested.
http://www.aimeenoel.tumblr.com/
You can put links from anything you find on the internet that you like, or quotes from books or movies, pictures of things going on in your life, update by phone, im, or journal. It's ADDICTING!!! |
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| Fix up, look sharp! |
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| 03:29pm 19/02/2009 |
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INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Put your iPod or other music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got this from.
(Do it if you want to)
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( This actually kind of worked out! ) |
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| So far... |
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| 09:32am 06/02/2009 |
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mood:  creative music: Once- Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova
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So far, the new year has been a real eye-opener. I guess I figured out a lot about my life that I was so unhappy with, and never realized before that I was unhappy because it was the only way I had ever felt. It's good to finally have realized that and to take the necessary steps to fix it, I just wish I hadn't waited 7 years to get to this point. Although, I guess when you are 14 years old, you don't look at things the same way you do when you're an "adult". Anyway, I'm seeing a difference and I think I'm finally going to start living life to the fullest and actually start FEELING. I'm excited.
In other news, I taught myself 3 songs on the guitar and that makes me super excited! Also, I did 15 pushups the other day! That's a 300% improvement from the 5 I did just 3 weeks ago! Whoo, this whole getting into shape thing is sooooo good for the mind AND body. I think if everyone started exercising we'd all be a lot happier.
I'm going to buy the book Skinny Bitch. It's a diet book, but I'm more reading it for the benefits of veganism. I'm a vegetarian and am considering becoming vegan after I move out of the house, I can't ask my parents, the times I am home, to cook special meals for me and to buy me special foods, I just feel like that would be way too much since they already sacrifice a lot for me being vegetarian. I appreciate them a lot.
By the way, classes started, and I love Contemporary Literature. Ahhh! It's so good.
WEEKENDDDDDDDDDDDD! |
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| Alex Barker |
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| 11:59pm 03/01/2009 |
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Alex Barker lives 15 minutes away from ___________ high school by foot, but chooses to drive. He does not like the concept of planning ahead for "circumstances beyond his control" that could occur while walking to and from school, like the weather or the driving habits of their "alcoholic" neighbor. Alex does, however, enjoy wrapping the words he awards quotation marks with using his fingers while explaining to his parents why he chooses to drive to school instead of walk. His parents reply with something about "laziness" and "his generation" as they concede to his decision, not that they should. Alex could use the exercise. At 17 years old, Alex is a fairly hefty boy. Although he is quite a good-looking boy with dark hair and light eyes he struggles to be anything mre than a funny side kick to the more popular athletic boys who receive all the attention from the more desirable girls in school. Alex does know one girl, though, whom he has known all his life and never thought of in "that way" until recently after an incident at the neighborhood playground occured after hours. She wrote him a letter:
"Dear Alex,
You've been my closest friend for a long time, and you're probably the one person in this world that I've actually opened up to about things that I wouldn't normally tell other people. So, I want to try to give an explanation, albeit some may see it as an "excuse", as to why I'm always blowing people off and never returning phone calls and turning into more and more of a hermit crab everyday.
I guess it started my freshman year of high school actually, halfway through. I just started to feel a "darkness", for lack of a better word, that I couldn't get rid of. It's like it comes and goes. I'll feel really angry and lock myself in my room and not eat and do nothing but lie in the dark until the feeling passes. Sometimes it's hours or days or weeks. But it always does pass. And then I continue on like nothing happened. I guess it's kind of hard to hide things like that though when you live in a small community and people recognize that you skip meals constantly. Soo, I pretty much forced myself to feel better. And that worked for a while up until last year. It's weird the things that go through a person's head when they're that sad, and for no reason. I'd have a bad day at practice and I'd think, I just want to die. That seems like a really stupid reason to want to die, I could have just quit the team, that would've been a much easier solution, right? But... dying seemed like the only solution to anything that I felt. Once it got to the point that I thought about death all too frequently I figured I should probably do something about it. So I went to the school counselor figuring that i would just say, I feel sad sometimes and then it would all get better. But you never realize how hard it is to talk to a stranger until you're actually there. So I left.
It wasn't until this year that I realized it was getting bad. Like, all summer, I wouldn't see anyone. I just didn't want to. I would feel too sad anytime I thought about seeing you and I don't even know why. If I hung out just one time it was like my heart would get really heavy in my chest and I felt sad. Somebody close to me suggested I get counseling. Big surprise there! Our school counselor suggested that I probably have some degree of depression. Which, whatever. I haven't told my parents, i haven't told anyone, I just thought I could tell you because I remember when we went to the graveyard downtown and talked about things in our lives. Sometimes I'm scared because I don't know what will happen to me and what I'll become and i let it eat me up too much. But what else can we think about?
Anyway, that's a whole lot of blabbering to say that I'm sorry for the way I've treated you sometimes. It's not much of a friend to never return calls or to stand you up. I'm sorry.
You don't have to write back, by the way.. I kind of just thought i'd put this in to the void and you could read it and maybe understand silently.
Sincerely,
Maggie."
He realized after reading it that he loved her, he wanted to save her. He just didn't know how. |
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| Happy 21 Birthday to me!!! |
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| 02:18pm 09/12/2008 |
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mood:  cold
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MAN! When you're a little kid you never think this day will come...but it's here! I'm 21! I can legally drink now! All the sneaking and creeping around is OVER! I am officially LEGAL!
Not that I'm going to take advantage of it like crazy, but... it's kind of cool! Anyway... happy birthday to me! Exams are almost over, it's almost time to go home and see my family and RELAX for a little bit. I'm really happy right now. I hope it lasts! <3Aimee |
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| Sigh. |
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| 10:42am 06/10/2008 |
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music: Paris Hilton is my New BFF.
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Well, the original plan since this summer has been that in January I am going to Australia.
All that is changed now.
I'm not going.
I'm never going to get out of the states.
I hate money. |
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| 08:19pm 19/08/2008 |
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I need a haircut.
But I can't decide what to get. My hair is too unruly and crazy for short cuts.
Urghhh.
edit: 9-5-2008: I got it cut.
( hair ) |
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| 11:16am 30/07/2008 |
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I see that I was wrong about a lot of things.
I've spent most of my summer alone because of this.
I know now, after neglecting tons of people, that I do have people who care about me...sometimes I'm just stubborn, and it takes me a long time to get things through my head.
I'm not saying what I've done or what I haven't... I'm just sorry.
I'm sorry for neglecting everyone and simply assuming that no one cared.
I was really selfish.
And even though it's late now... I'm sorry. |
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| 03:18pm 11/06/2008 |
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I am not a Christian, living at home, working at Kohl's, not running like I should be, and sitting on my butt at home everyday alone.
My perfect sister is working at Church Camp in Keezletown, running every morning, and worshipping the lord.
It's a lot of fun being compared to her.
So much fun that I hate running everday because it's turning into something I hate. Why does this happen every summer? Why can't they just leave me alone?
Sigh. |
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| 07:24pm 26/04/2008 |
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I am still miserably sick.
I have never been sick for this long.
My body couldn't have picked a better time. (note the sarcasm).
Exam week is coming and I need to be better Sooon.
Ahhh! |
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| 06:25pm 23/04/2008 |
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I am miserably sick.
Ughhh. |
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| yay! |
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| 05:04pm 25/03/2008 |
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I'm in love! I'm in love! And I don't care who knows it! |
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| 20 |
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| 12:26pm 24/03/2008 |
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mood:  confused
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20 can be a confusing age.
I'm still in college, so not quite a grown-up yet.
However, I'm confused because I am not sure what kind of freedom I really have.
I still get money in my birthday cards.
I still get money from my parents when I need something.
My parents still make my health appointments for me.
I'm 20...but I'm still extremely dependent on my parents.
When do I let go?
Maybe this year is the year. |
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| Yay! |
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| 01:18pm 23/03/2008 |
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mood:  amused music: Under the Blacklight- Rilo Kiley
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There are a few artists I have been obsessed with lately.
( MUSIC ) |
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| 02:33pm 17/01/2008 |
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Ohhhh.
So THAT'S what I want! |
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| 02:20pm 14/01/2008 |
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I thought I knew what I wanted.
But I constantly second-guess myself.
I don't know what I want.
I wish I knew that a few months ago. |
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littlemurphy's journal